


Griggsby-kun, an Origin Story

by Dabs_Puns_Finger_guns



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Bleach, D&D?, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Dragon Ball, Naruto, One Piece, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Sword Art Online
Genre: Gen, Weeb shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 00:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16356968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabs_Puns_Finger_guns/pseuds/Dabs_Puns_Finger_guns
Summary: A weeb dies a sad, lonely death. No death note involved. Many tears. Much sad.Okay, has the sarcasm settled in yet?This is a shitpost. Not much else to it.





	Griggsby-kun, an Origin Story

**Author's Note:**

> So like, I created this masterpiece/shitpost for some D&D campaign like a year ago. We never completed it. There was only one session. We were all very distractable people.  
> But despite this, I wanted this shitty character I created to be memorable.  
> Enjoy:

Wasabi Subaru was just your generic, average, anime, high school student until one day, out of seemingly nowhere, everything changed… The Fire Nation attacked.   
In the ensuing chaos, the titans vored Subaru’s brunet, side-ponytailed mother, leaving Subaru to despair. Angst consumed him, and in the years following, he pushed everyone away, including his obligatory rival/ass-hatted-bully-turned-best-friend and his forgettable, personality-less, big-boobed, co-star (who eventually would star in her own tangential, magic-girl anime—figures sold separately). He swore to the gods of emo that he would seek his revenge upon the Hallows, and Bleached his hair orange, but unfortunately, he would learn that without the power of friendship, he could not hope to find success, become Hokage, or find the One Piece Maguffin.  
Unfortunately, even with the power of the Death Note and his dramatic chip eating flair, Subaru could not exact justice upon the people of Tokyo; so, he just became a ghoul instead. But even with this unique skill, he could not hope to defeat the legendary Heathcliff and the dastardly Laughing Coffin faction to free the people of Sword Art Online.  
Then, in an act that seemed rather out of character, our hero ran into the middle of a street to push a small child/teenage girl/elderly man out of the way of a moving truck and was struck dead, and because he had already been revived by the Dragon Balls once before, his friends couldn’t wish him to life again, forcing him to venture into the land of the dead. Once there, he met a magical, waifu goddess that promised to reincarnate him into a parallel world of adventure under a new name and with new powers. He gleefully accepted, and that is how Griggsby-kun came to be venturing aimlessly through the streets of Seattle this fine afternoon.  
...  
Or at least, that’s what his personal fanfic said of his origins.  
In reality, Griggsby was just your average NEET-Weeb. He rarely left the house, and his parents were rapidly losing patience in caring for their dependent, now in his mid-twenties. He had never even been to Japan nor knew any Japanese beyond a few key words and phrases, but rather, he liked to claim himself an aficionado of the culture. Once upon a time, his parents had dreamed he would go off to med school, as he did have some basic medical training and an above average intelligence, but that would have required effort and human interaction, and Griggsby was NOT about that life.  
However, the part about his death did actually happen, or at least, he thinks it did. Although, the circumstances surrounding it were quite lackluster and mundane.  
Griggsby thought that it would be an excellent idea to attempt to binge all of the One-Piece anime in a single sitting.  
Needless to say, he died alone of malnourishment and dehydration. And when he met the goddess of reincarnation, life, balance, and love or some shit like that, she curled into a ball and began to laugh her ass off, remarking that his was the most pathetic death that she had witnessed in a millennium. Thus, to repay him for distracting her from her usual drudgery, she offered him a second chance at life in another world.  
Griggsby beamed and began to inquire about his predicament: would he retain his memories? Would he gain some ex machina powers to deliver him from whatever evils awaited him? Would he finally get that love interest he felt was long over-due? Could he finally escape his incel hell?! He knew what these anime plotlines were all about, and he wanted to make certain that he could finally make his anime-protag dreams come to light.  
The goddess smirked (Did he detect the faintest hint of mischief behind her leer?), but simply beckoned for him to venture into the light.  
And that’s how Griggsby’s adventure to Seattle began.

**Author's Note:**

> Believe it or not: there's a part two to this if y'all are up for more of this shit.


End file.
